I was born with a shot glass in my hand
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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