Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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