Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
