This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
