Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
