You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
