Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
