i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
