Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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