This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A bitchslap is in order.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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