sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
