Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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