Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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