dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
