and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
