Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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