A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
