and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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