do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
