I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize