matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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