walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
