So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize