You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
