He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My penis needs a shock collar
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize