According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize