pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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