We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
