You're completely useless in the revolution.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
