I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
