there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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