So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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