That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
