So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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