Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
