he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
