Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
