We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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