There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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