I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
