So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
