I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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