Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
