he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
