I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
