my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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