I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
