69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
