It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
