Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
