I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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