Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
