careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm way too hungover for life right now
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
