I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
