I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
