I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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