So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
