This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
