just tell him i said nine months
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this just has baby written all over it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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