scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
